arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
