Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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