There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
