I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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