i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
