My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
