if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
