Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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