8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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