kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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