I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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