I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
