Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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