Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
