How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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