Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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