This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
