If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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