i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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