This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
