Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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