My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
