So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
