Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
