I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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