My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Pants are for mortals
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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