Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
