I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
