...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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