Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
