We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
