told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
