Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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