yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Still dying that you shit outside
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
