Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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