I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
