Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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