i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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