SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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