Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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