I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize