I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
