fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
