I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
