My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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