I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
