Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
