mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You're a waste of cheezeits
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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