I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
