How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
