just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
