This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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