i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
