you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
