I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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