i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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