the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize